End of Semester---Heeeeeeeeelp!

(Thanks to former students Alyssa and Hannah who visited me last week and bullied me into posting again:)

Today, January 20th is a snow day for most schools here in the Midwest. Yippee? Not really.

You see, at PHS we had the first half of exams yesterday and today was to be the last three. Monday we have a work day to do grades, but we can't do the grades until the exams are all taken and graded. I know, boo hoo.

As I blog, a squirrel is sitting in the doorway of his home in the knot of a walnut tree out back doing the same thing I am: watching the snow fly, reflecting on life, and eating leftover nuts from the holidays. 

The end of the semester is a stressful time. For teachers, it is a time of exam preparation and review. And, for many students it's fraught with desperation: "How in the heck can I push that C up to a B in these last few days?"

We teachers listen to much begging, a bit of bargaining and even some bribing during this point in the semester. Some students don't want any more assignments for fear their grade will go down, and others beg for more work so they can boost their grade as much as possible.

"Can I do any extra credit? Please, tell me what I can do. My dad will kill me if I get a D."

"I have all A's except for this class. I really want to keep my 4.0. What can I do?"

"Hey, do you need your driveway shovelled, Mrs. Kies?"

"My mom promised me a trip to California if I get all B's. Your class is the only one that I have a C in. What can I do?"
"It's not fair. I have an 89.2. Can't you boost that up to an 89.5? I'm so close to an A. I need an A!"

"Hmmf. You don't like me, do you? Otherwise you'd give me a C. How come you don't like me, anyway?"

"Mrs. Kies, I was looking at my grades, and I see I am missing several quizzes from three or four weeks ago. Can I make those up now? It's really hurting my grade. You should have told me I was missing those."

Two weeks ago nobody seemed too concerned about his or her grades and seemed to be satisfied with how the class was going. Now, it's like they just noticed the elephant that had been there all along. Panic sets in and their brain goes into reality mode.

Now that students can check their grades online, slackerism becomes an art form. Just think of the math these students are doing to figure out the least amount of work (down to a tenth of a point) they need to do to get their desired grade.
"I only need to get a 63.7% on the final exam to get a C for the semester."

One student asked, "I'm not saying I'm going to do this, but, what happens if I don't take the final? I can get an F and still pass the semester."

"If I study enough to get a B on the exam, I'll still get an A in the class."

"Three wrong. I can get three wrong and pull off a B-!"

Those who are challenged in math or just plain lazy will sometimes ask, "Can you put numbers in the grade book to see what I need to pull off a C?"

"Sure," I reply. "Come in after school, and we'll sit down and play the 'plug in the numbers game.'"

"After school? I'm not coming in after school. No way. I've got things to do."

It works every time with slackers.