End of Semester---Heeeeeeeeelp!

(Thanks to former students Alyssa and Hannah who visited me last week and bullied me into posting again:)

Today, January 20th is a snow day for most schools here in the Midwest. Yippee? Not really.

You see, at PHS we had the first half of exams yesterday and today was to be the last three. Monday we have a work day to do grades, but we can't do the grades until the exams are all taken and graded. I know, boo hoo.

As I blog, a squirrel is sitting in the doorway of his home in the knot of a walnut tree out back doing the same thing I am: watching the snow fly, reflecting on life, and eating leftover nuts from the holidays. 

The end of the semester is a stressful time. For teachers, it is a time of exam preparation and review. And, for many students it's fraught with desperation: "How in the heck can I push that C up to a B in these last few days?"

We teachers listen to much begging, a bit of bargaining and even some bribing during this point in the semester. Some students don't want any more assignments for fear their grade will go down, and others beg for more work so they can boost their grade as much as possible.

"Can I do any extra credit? Please, tell me what I can do. My dad will kill me if I get a D."

"I have all A's except for this class. I really want to keep my 4.0. What can I do?"

"Hey, do you need your driveway shovelled, Mrs. Kies?"

"My mom promised me a trip to California if I get all B's. Your class is the only one that I have a C in. What can I do?"
"It's not fair. I have an 89.2. Can't you boost that up to an 89.5? I'm so close to an A. I need an A!"

"Hmmf. You don't like me, do you? Otherwise you'd give me a C. How come you don't like me, anyway?"

"Mrs. Kies, I was looking at my grades, and I see I am missing several quizzes from three or four weeks ago. Can I make those up now? It's really hurting my grade. You should have told me I was missing those."

Two weeks ago nobody seemed too concerned about his or her grades and seemed to be satisfied with how the class was going. Now, it's like they just noticed the elephant that had been there all along. Panic sets in and their brain goes into reality mode.

Now that students can check their grades online, slackerism becomes an art form. Just think of the math these students are doing to figure out the least amount of work (down to a tenth of a point) they need to do to get their desired grade.
"I only need to get a 63.7% on the final exam to get a C for the semester."

One student asked, "I'm not saying I'm going to do this, but, what happens if I don't take the final? I can get an F and still pass the semester."

"If I study enough to get a B on the exam, I'll still get an A in the class."

"Three wrong. I can get three wrong and pull off a B-!"

Those who are challenged in math or just plain lazy will sometimes ask, "Can you put numbers in the grade book to see what I need to pull off a C?"

"Sure," I reply. "Come in after school, and we'll sit down and play the 'plug in the numbers game.'"

"After school? I'm not coming in after school. No way. I've got things to do."

It works every time with slackers.

Away we go!

We're off and running in a new school year. Thanks to my ambitious nature in the spring, this year's AP class turned in two assignments. Forty students times two makes eighty assignments. At about fifteen minutes each, that's approximately twenty hours of correcting. And, why do I love this job?

It's the students. Really. They are worth it all. No day is the same, and they teach me so much. Besides the two classes of AP, there are the three of English 11 and Creative Writing. Oh, I'm Literary Magazine advisor, too.

So far everything's been rolling along like a well-oiled desk chair. The first day I walked someone to the office to see the principal. I was subbing for another teacher during my prep time, and one the guys, out of four obnoxious ones, wouldn't stop making fun of another kid. Thought he was Eddie Murphy or something. He kept up the chatter all the while we walked. Said I was racist. I said, "Yeah, right. I was Miss America last year, too." (Really I didn't say anything.)

Too hot in my room at 8:00 a.m. so I emailed the responsible people because if it felt that ghastly that early while I was sitting in my chair and no one else was in the room, think what it was going to be like teaching 28 students! Said it was NOT too hot in my room. So, the sweat soaking my armpits and staining my new green dress were a figment of my imagination. A dream, maybe? A hot flash?

Several new foreign exchange students: three from Germany, one from Portugal, and one from Norway. One student who moved here from Miami has never seen snow. Boy, is she in for it! The young man from Portugal says that whenever he goes to a country where it is supposed to snow, it doesn't. I hope his luck continues.

Student quote of the week: "Yeah, my brother tried to catch his fart in a jar once. He's so dumb, you know?"

Today, our dog Angel went to doggie heaven. Her years of chasing rabbits and her pal Brady stay with us. I can see her sitting on the steps to look out the window, waiting for the kids to get home from school, only to be dressed in clothes and played with like a doll. I can see her tail wag like a fly swatter when we come in the room, and then lying by the couch while we watch TV. She's sit on the deck or the front porch like a proud lion surveying her domain, ready to bark and snarl if a stranger set foot on her turf.

She helped raise Brady as a pup, nipping him into submission, training him to behave and leave his annoying puppy habits behind.

We love you, Angel and will miss you every day. Thank you for your seventeen years of companionship. No dog could top your sweetness. RIP

lunch bunch and videos

Part of the fun of a teacher inservice day is getting an hour for lunch instead of 27 minutes. Today we went to Pizza Hut and caught up with what everybody did over the summer. (Good luck having those twins, Liz!)

Also, cleaning the room is part of the get-back-in-the-saddle ritual. I threw out many VHS cassettes, and I'm officially updating to DVDs and Internet videos. Got to get with this century. For the past three years I've asked for a projector in my room to show student projects, videos, and educational YouTube interviews and such---and I never get one. The young teachers all have them, and I guess they think we seasoned veterans won't use 'em. So, I had a hissy fit in the library, complete with stomping my feet, to show I'm not that old. And---I'm getting one!

You know the old saying about the squeaky wheel?

Technology and Thoreau

Ahh, as summer slips away, I'm back to work. First day of inservice includes meetings, meetings, more meetings---and technology training. It takes the year for me to master the new technology, software, hardware, etc., and then the next year they change it again! New laptops are great, but with them comes more new stuff to learn and use. Thoreau was right about technology. It doesn't really make our lives simpler; it just adds to the things we need to learn and do.

"We don't ride the railroad; the railroad rides upon us." ---Henry David Thoreau

Summer is so sweet---the cherry on the sundae, the kiss before bed, the dog's underwear (you know, way better than the cat's pajamas).

Did some serious hammock time today. Glass of iced tea, the New Yorker, and a nap. Heaven.

And, an ice cream cone for dessert tonight.

It doesn't get any better than this.

August 3 Musings

Yup, been awhile, but here I am again. Went to 2-Onion farm this afternoon and hoed the cauliflower, cucumbers, carrots and beets. It was hot, but there was a breeze. Drank lots of water and worked through an aching muscle in my backside. Will either feel great tomorrow or won't be able to walk. Came home and cracked open the best watermelon we've had all summer. Mmmmm! Lots of vitamin P!

Six years ago today our son, Kelly, passed away. I hate how distant he has become. He's forever 25, and we keep aging and changing, plugging away at life and doing the best we can. I see his smile in the sunset as I look out the window right now. He may be frozen in time, but his essence is a part of us every day.

It's August, and soon I'll be back in the classroom. Don't tell anybody, but part of me is looking forward to it. I know; I'm sick. You know, that chalk dust, or white board marker ink gets in your veins and what ya gonna do?

If only winter didn't have to come as the school year progresses. In my bible, hell is cold, not hot.