The Penis Syndrome

I taught sophomores for 17 years, and as most teachers will attest, they not only learned from me, but I from them. One bizarre behavior I observed was that boys at that age were enamored by, proud of, or obsessed with their penises---to the max. They drew them on folders (not necessarily theirs), in books, on posters I had in the room (Shakespeare would have been thrilled with his endowment), on the board when I wasn't looking, or even when I was.

One year they nabbed my poster putty, the whitish gray sticky stuff I use to hang posters, and for several days I found tiny putty penis sculptures hanging indiscriminately throughout the room.

One would think that after sixteen years living with this body feature that they wouldn't be so hell-bent on displaying crude replicas. All males have them for heaven's sakes, and all females by this point know they have them. Are they reminding us or themselves? Is this a display of mature potency or male immaturity? (My vote is for the latter.)

In my 19 years of teaching, I've never once seen one girl draw anything resembling a vagina anywhere. When you think about it, wouldn't you think that boys would be drawing girls' vaginas instead of their own penises? There's probably some sex psychologist out there who knows the answer to this, but it surely is hard for me to understand.

When I switched to teaching juniors two years ago, I thought the whole penis syndrome would subside. And it has---somewhat. I no longer see penises all over the place, but every so often one pops up.

Take, last week. As a reward for reading, studying and giving my class their all, I took the AP class outside to fingerpaint. The educational connection was that we had studied movies and stories where water was the main theme, either in a romantic or realistic or naturalistic way: Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea, Melville's Moby Dick, Crane's "The Open Boat," and Norman Maclain's A River Runs Through It.

We took out the paints, water and paper and they went to work. Their objective was to make a piece of art by finger painting, and it had to have water in it. They had to be able to explain to the class whether their work represented romanticism, realism or naturalism and why.

It was cool to see students kneeling on the ground using the different colors, making different shapes, and getting their hands into the mess. As I walked around and looked at the creations, I noticed Matt was making a big gray whale whose fins were suspiciously round, and whose smile was suspiciously positioned at the end of the big whale in just the right place to look like---Moby Dick, literally.

And just when I thought boys matured by the time they became juniors. (Deep sigh!) Thanks, Matt.

Readin' Write

Been readin' a lot lately, that is, compared to what I usually get done during the school year. Need to get writin' now, too.

Every time I get into a book I like, I get inspired to write a book like that book. I remember reading The Shipping News by Annie Prouilx and get sucked in by the the non-pretty, but alluring characters and charmed by the illustrations of little knots at the the beginning of each chapter.

I was writing a novel at the time called Closing Words about a woman who gets raped and identifies the wrong man, and I got the idea to begin each chapter with a different postage stamp because each chapter alluded to closing words from a letter or note, e.g. always, sincerely, etc. I sent for a brochure from the Postal Service which had pictures of every kind of stamp one could order, and my plan was to choose one that was symbolic for the closing words or the chapter. The novel is finished, but the postage stamp idea? Didn't quite happen.

Most of the time I don't even get the writing finished because I'm on to reading another book that inspires me in a different direction. Last summer I began a series of essays about teaching because I was romanced by Michael Perry's Population 485. It's my goal to finish those this summer.

But, I recently met fictional Olive Kitteridge thanks to Elizabeth Strout, and went to Italy, India and Indonesia to Eat, Pray, Love with Liz Gilbert. Both deposited some fine, rich starting soil over my ideas, so now I need to plant and water them so they grow into fine, strong stories. And, this morning I did yesterday's paper's cryptoquote puzzle, and it was by Albert Einstein: "Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind." Hmmm. Have to be blind not to see some writin' potential in that topic.

So many ideas---so little time!

As the end of the school year winds up, I find myself tired but inspired. This summer I will make a list and check the piece off when I'm finished. Yes. This summer I will write everything I ever wanted to write and finish everything I start!

I suppose I should put blogging on that list. Right, AZ?